So, lately I’ve been having some second thoughts about the value of my confrontational writing style. From now on, I’m going to set some standards for myself. They will be based on an old Christian aphorism, which I’ve slightly modified to properly reflect my atheism:
It’s simple – just like Christians always love everyone and only actually hate the sin itself, so also am I going to love Christians, and just hate their Christ. You know, going to the root of the problem and all.
I have lots of things to write about. Most of the things I write are pointless and destructive. Is it worth hurting other people just because I’m bitter about all the religious bullshit that nearly drove me to suicide a few years ago, and because people are still coming at me with their revolting judgmental tirades and painting it all up as “advice” and “love”? No. Instead of reacting with my typical cynicism and degrading profanities, I should be trying to explain my point of view in a way that’s more accepting and forgiving, so as not to offend people.
I am going to love you, Christian. It’ll be tough love, but goddammit, I’m gonna love you!
I think about all the people I’ve known from my childhood and throughout my life… for the most part, these people are decent and caring individuals. I owe so much to these people; they raised me and helped me and got me started in this world. I just happen to disagree entirely with their worldview now, that’s all. What right do I have to imply that they are completely blind to the reality of life (and in some cases probably insane)?
I just don’t think it’s worth it anymore. I don’t want to hurt people. I need to be reasonable and start moving away from all of my signature flamefesting rhetoric.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that as I get older, it’s becoming more important for me to truly respect people – even those people I strongly disagree with. I’ve got to be careful to maintain my relationships and encourage people and influence people in a positive fashion, regardless of whether or not I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO TAKE THIS MACHETE AND SHOVE IT THROUGH YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW.
It might be true that I think the Christian system is stupid and vapid and basically makes people behave like the retards I used to drive around in my school bus. It might be true that I find the concept of any sort of God to be wholly illogical. Maybe it’s true that I think Jesus was a great guy in general, but kind of took his Messiah complex a little bit too far. But just because I think those things doesn’t mean I should write an angry blog post screaming about how I HOPE YOUR WIFE GETS HIT BY A DRUNK DRIVER AND TURNS INTO A FUCKING VEGETABLE AND THE HOSPITAL BILLS PILE UP AND EVENTUALLY BANKRUPT YOU AND THEN YOUR NEIGHBOR’S LLAMA KICKS YOU IN THE NUTS SO HARD THEY HAVE TO CASTRATE YOU AND THEN I HOPE YOUR HOUSE BURNS TO THE GROUND.
When I think about it, there’s really no reason for me to continue ranting and raving about the dangers of religion. I admit that I need to be more cautious. I need to stop letting my anger control how I go about my writing. I need to really love these people, even though they have obviously chosen the wrong path for their lives. I need to FUCKING BLIND YOU WITH A BLOWTORCH, AND THEN BREAK YOUR KNEES WITH A GOLF CLUB, AND THEN LET YOU CRAWL AROUND SCREAMING IN A CORNFIELD WHILE I SHOOT YOUR NAKED BODY WITH A PAINTBALL GUN, AND THEN POUR ACID INTO YOUR ASSHOLE, AND THEN PUNCTURE YOUR EARDRUMS WITH TINY LITTLE NEEDLES, AND THEN SLICE THE WORDS “JESUS FUCKING FREAK” INTO YOUR CHEST WITH A STRAIGHT RAZOR, AND THEN DISEMBOWEL YOU WITH A COLD CHISEL AND FORCE-FEED YOU YOUR OWN INTESTINES.
Perhaps I’m just mellowing out as I get older. Maybe I’m just realizing that I don’t want to turn off all of my Christian friends and acquaintances by really saying what I think. It could be that I have, for good reason of course, a very real fear that if Christians are slapped in the face with the full force of what I write, they might turn on me with actual, worldview-negating violence.
Which would be kind of cool.
Whatever it is, though, I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer carry on writing in such a poisonous manner. Nobody profits, no change of heart occurs, when all I’m doing is calling people names and cruelly satirizing Christianity and all of its nauseating lies. In fact, by choosing to be such an antagonistic writer, I am really no better than all the crazy right-wing fundamentalists.
So there you have it. I’ll still be writing about Christianity, atheism, my personal experiences as I made the jump from one to the other, and my continued struggle with religious idiocy in general, but this blog will be undergoing a radical change in perspective as I begin to practice my goal of loving the Christian, and saving up my hatred for the Christ.
I’ll give you some tough love, Christian, STARTING RIGHT NOW. I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT WITH ALL YOU RELIGIOUS HYPOCRITES. I HOPE YOU FALL INTO AN EMPTY WISHING WELL AND DIE AFTER TWO WEEKS OF PRAYING FOR GOD TO RESCUE YOU. I HOPE YOUR PASTOR RAPES YOU. I HOPE SOMEBODY YANKS THAT GODDAMN JESUS-FISH OFF YOUR BUMPER AND SCRATCHES THE WORDS “PEDOPHILE CHILD MOLESTER” ALL OVER YOUR CAR. I HOPE YOUR KIDS ARE KIDNAPPED AND THE POLICE FIND THEIR DISMEMBERED, DECOMPOSING BODIES IN AN ABANDONED SHACK THREE MONTHS LATER.
I sincerely hope that anybody I’ve offended in the past reads this post, sees that I have decided to completely change my approach to this whole Christianity/atheism controversy, and somehow finds it in themselves to forgive me for all the ugliness in my past. Then maybe we can go out for coffee and talk about these things like mature, responsible adults.
I love you, Christian! I JUST HATE YOUR GODDAMN WORTHLESS PSEUDO-SAVIOR LYING MOTHERFUCKER SHITCHRIST.
