Those of you who are still trying to recover from being exposed to the hazardous content of my previous blog (yes, all seven of you poor wankers) might recall that I often wrote about my relationship with Whiskey. Closer than a brother she was to me, although I guess technically that’s because my brother lives several thousand miles away and I could get to Whiskey in about five steps – eight or maybe nine if I was drunk.
One time I had a quick three-way with Whiskey and some spaghetti at 3 in the morning. I don’t remember why, but here’s a picture I took. Completely uncensored. This has nothing to do with anything, which is why it works here.
I would totally have sex with those noodles right now.
But anyways. Recently I decided to stop drinking. I finally realized that life really is meaningful and that it’s important to maintain a healthy mind and body – To keep a positive outlook on life – To shun weakness, fear, bitterness, anger, hatred, and negativity – To refrain from assaulting Facebook with a flood of drunken, blasphemous tirades that I’m guessing probably forced a few of my praisechristing friends to block or delete me.
Whiskey didn’t let me do any of those things.
Whiskey was dragging me farther and farther away from the Happiness I sought.
Whiskey was fun, but she felt so empty. And she always seemed to come and go. Good to the last drop, but then all of a sudden I had to shell out more money to get her back. I couldn’t save anything. All my spare change went to Whiskey and making sure she wasn’t running low.
So I stopped drinking. I said Fuck You Whiskey and then I just HEY LOOK SPIDERS ON THE WALL.
Things are different now. I am motivated. I am a positive thinker. I am constantly exploring new ways to succeed, pursuing plans for a prosperous future, seeking the best ways to make the most of my current situation and improve the quality of my life.
I am motivated. I am positive thinker exploring wait did I already GLOW IN THE DARK SPIDERS.
Ah, the joys of youth. I have so many years to look forward to! So much to enjoy1 Why cover the pleasures of life in a cloud of alcoho0l confusion?, @why risk all the potential health problems associated with drinking why should I – a young man in the prime of his life – willingly allow myself to be marrched away into capitivity by the powers of inebraition/
Never again shall I take up the bottle. Never again will I submit my mind to any kind of controlling substance. whiskey can try to woo me but I won’t give in. She can call, but I won’t answer. From now on, when alcohol says Hey, i say naYY6/,
…uhh… mmm.
CRAZY DRAGON.
It was a mistake. I never should have started drinking in the first place. I remember, way back when, back when I was just another good little bastard child of God down in Brazil, I always said I’d never even try alcohol because I was afraid I’d get addicted to it, and look what happened, that’s why now I’ve decided I will never HEY DRAGON THERE IS A SPIDER ON YOU.
OH MY GOD this glass can’t possibly be empty already
OH MY GOD you fucking dragon
you fucking fucking dragon you drank it all didn’t you it’s your fault dragon I HOPE THE SIPERSD EAT YOU ALIVEN..
MWAHAHAHAHAHAhaha
die dragon die
oh yyEESSSssss just lokk at theose NOODLES
…mmm…
FUCKTEHWHOWLEWORLD
GGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHh
also FUCK NOODLES since I happen to be on the subject.
NO SPIDER NO
