It seems odd that anyone would actually want to contact me after reading anything I write.

And, since the world is full of deranged quasi-human fruit-fly vomitfuckers -

- sometimes I worry about what would happen if I pissed them off. Am I going to get shot or maybe beaten to death with a Bible tomorrow? Probably.

However – if you’re a relatively sane person, please feel free to email me or just come over to my apartment for a fine alcoholic beverage sometime.

But please, no requests for gay sex. For some reason, everyone thinks I’m a poofter, but actually, I’m not gay.

Also, I suffer from dissociative identity disorder. The two main alter-egos I’ve identified so far are God and Satan. So, if you want to contact me, be prepared – at any given moment I could be ranting and raving like a demonically unstable and savagely wicked incarnation of poisonous evil.

But my Satan personality tends to dominate significantly more often than God does, so I’m usually pretty nice.

Don’t worry about a thing.